asians

when we arrived in manoel viana the other night, chris asked me how it felt to be the only asian in like a 10 000 mile radius.
people keep talking about earthquakes in china and making slant-eye jokes.
i fucking hated being reminded of my ethnicity at home, but here i smile and dont say anything..
im getting sick of being amiable and trying to be polite and getting everyone to like me.
i came here to be independent, and to live but instead i find myself worrying about what time i should be home so my host mother doesnt get worried, and i worry about being alone in the town..
im not missing home but i want my regular routine to start.
im happy with the group that we have, the brazilians are crazy - we break out into spontaneous song a lot, and really loudly.
i know a lot of the people here are missing home, but im not.. i just cant pin down the feeling hat i have..