LEAVING

I am leaving on a train bound for Montreal tmrw morning.
I don't know if I can do this.. 6 months away from home seemed like the most amazing thing that could happen to me a couple weeks ago...
But as I keep verbalizing it and thinking how the next time I'll be able to see any one is during Christmas, it just gets scarier and scarier.
I haven't even left yet and I'm thinking about when I get back.

Agh okay.
I'll update you kids with posts every so often.
Pictures and what not.
I'll miss you guys!

See you in 6 months.

another justice post

Before Justice was Justice with the †, there was just Gaspard Auge..
as Mircocloisir.

Here's a track from him:

Mircocloisir - Back in your Eyes

I, too, wonder along with asian dan if that is Gaspard singing on the track.

Justice (the duo) should do a remix of this track...

(I am sorry for you grammar nazis out there, I have a problem with commas and copious use of them, mostly not in the right places. I am also losing basic english grammar as I try to cram in as much Portuguese as I can before I leave.. so far the only thing that has stuck is how to ask for a beer..)

"Hi Maggie,

Just bring it with you on Monday!

Enjoy your last weekend with friends and family before the program starts."


this kills me.

Frankie Magazine

Frankie Magazine always seems to have the best photoshoots.

The only problem is that I can only get issues intermittently... and they kind of cost a lot.

Summer Rain

It's 5am.
I can't sleep, yet again.
I lie in bed only to feel the beginnings of a panic attack creeping up on me.
I'm shaky and nauseous.
It's too stuffy in the house.
I need to go for a walk, but it's still dark out.
I want to go outside and watch the sun rise.
I am listening to the shins.
Wincing the night away
How appropriate.

MGMT + Justice

If you're noting the barrage of posts, it's mostly because I'm leaving soon and I don't know how often I'll be updating.
Also because I am running into good music sources.

I like MGMT.
I like Justice.
I find the lead singer of MGMT extremely attractive.
I find Xavier from Justice slightly attractive.
So imagine the musical boners I had when I found out that Justice did a remix of Electric Feel.
(Actual girl-boners will ensue as soon as they put out a video together.)
Amazing.
Get the song here .


Bonus picture of Andrew from MGMT:

Bonus video where Xavier sheds some insight on their songwriting process, how they plan their dj sets and the origin of the band's name. (Also a great time to brush up on your German, and something about Kanye West.) Don't worry, it kicks into French-accented English during the important parts:

Also bonus video for Electric Feel (the original version)

Video of Justice and link to download courtesy of asian dan.

Picture of Andrew and Electric Feel video courtesy of google .

franki chan mixtape NLLR

Okay, maybe I suck at blogging because this is way late.
But Franki Chan has given us another mix, this time for no love lost records.
The one that I have (for iheartcomix) was pretty good, but I'm enjoying this one a lot more.
I'm hearing some Chromeo, heartsrevolution, and there is a Gorillaz sample somewhere.
The only downside is that when I downloaded it, it came as one hour-long song, and have been listening to it without knowing what songs I'm actually listening to.
But I have recently found the track listing:
01. Acid Girls - “Palms (Joe and Will Ask? Early Draft Remix)”
02. Classixx - “Cold Act Ill (Extended Mix)”
03. Kill The Noise - “Hey You (Le Castle Vania Remix)”
04. 30hz - “Daddio (Miles Dyson Remix)”
05. The Presets - “My People (DIM Remix)”
06. Ocelot - “Our Time (Calvertron Remix)”
07. The Count & Sinden - “Beeper (Fake Blood Remix)”
08. Treasure Fingers - “Cross The Dancefloor (Laidback Luke Remix)”
09. Fake Shark Real Zombie - “Designer Drugs (Designer Drugs Remix)”
10. Chromeo - “Fancy Footwork (Crookers Remix)”
11. Heartsrevolution - “Switchblade (LA Riots Remix)”
12. Top Billin - “My Girl Wants”
13. The Loungin Kollective - “Riddim Come 4ward (Herve’s Fire Pon Dem Remix)”
14. Alphabeat - “Fantastic 6 (Radioclit Remix)”
15. Sebastian Tellier - “Divine (Ocelot Vs. Bird Peterson Unfinished Remix)”
16. Digitalism - “Pogo (Beni’s Reedit, Rework, Remix)”

Interested? Download it here

all the world is my school, and all of humanity is my teacher.

Ah, de vivre une vie bohème.
Je veux aller ici, et vie comme un Tumbleweed.
Mais je pense pas qu'il est le même quand M. Whitman n'est pas là encore.




Among the visions which my fancies trace,
There was one brightest star, one face;
One image from afar,
Filled with surrounding grace.
Each poem was her heart's fantasy,
Each flower and tree is framed within her memory.
Each dream, each midnight and each dawn;
Are garments, thoughts of her put on
Each beam of light from the imperium blue,
With her involves the good, the beautiful and the true.

it's 430am

and i cannot sleep. so here is prt 2 of the boyswear post.

everyone needs a jacket like this.
I need a jacket like this.
Note plaid shirt done all the way up to the top button.
(image from the commodified)

No boys I know will ever wear anything like this, which is sad because this is actually my favourite.
I'm not really sure why, but it probably has something to do with the colours or the proportions.
Maybe the glasses.
Or maybe because he's from Televiv, Israel.

(image from borderline)

And for the less adventurous:

you can't go wrong with plaid flannel, if it's in the right size and not hanging off of you lumberjack-like.
(image of homme from chictopia)

or if you're really simple, white tee, leather jacket and jeans.
(you can leave the suspenders at home.)
follow through with any of the footwear seen above, or some high tops.
and accessorize with a swoopy haircut.
(image of one of the french touch guys from my exactitudes post)

i am really good at putting things off.
I AM GOING TO FAIL MY G TEST, PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME.
my mother is so adept at zapping all my confidence, and making me feel inadequate.
how does she do it?

also, my room is a disaster and i'd post pictures of it but i think you'd all be really disgusted to know that this is how i live.
and i'm also in a really fucked up mood, so sorry if i don't respond to anyone's texts or anything.

Peace Out to M.I.A.

So apparently M.I.A. has decided to go into retirement.
Her performance at Bonnaroo on Friday was her "last gig ever" (or so she kept repeating to the audience).
This on top of her recent cancellation of all her European festival dates.
The question is will it be a Jay-Z/Patrick Wolf type retirement or your grandpa's type of retirement?
Interscope hasn't confirmed or denied anything yet, so I guess we'll see!


Paper Planes

shitty excuse for a post

I was tagged by Sas - I mean ANNIE and I guess I'll fill this out because I totally ignored the last thing she tagged me in.

1. What were you doing ten years ago?

10 years ago I was 11 and probably ecstatic over the fact that school is out for the summer! And maybe just coming back from hanging out with Morgan from down the street and playing with her dog.

Actually, I miss that girl.. she moved shortly after we met and I moved in... I wonder where she is now...

2. What are 5 things on your to-do list today?

It's 11 pm, so I'll go with things I need to do tmrw.

- exchange my train ticket at Union

- Study for my exam

- practice my driving

- meet with someone

- pack/clean room

3. Snacks you enjoy?

I just enjoyed a popsicle.

I enjoyed the apple bell I had to FIGHT FOR last night w/Tracy and Rafay.

I also just enjoyed a mini tin of Pringles - remember those?

Tarte au sucre & Chocolatine!

These are more like desserts...

4. Places you’ve lived:

Singapore, Hong Kong, Mississauga.

And very shortly Rio Grande Do Sul, Brazil for 3 months and Salaberry-de-Valleyfield (http://www.ville.valleyfield.qc.ca/webconcepteur/web/SalaberrydeValleyfield), Quebec for 3 months!

5. What are 5 things you would do if you were a billionaire?

- go to school longer just to take various classes - art and otherwise (does this make me a loser?)

- live in Paris or the South of France for a bit

- start an NGO -- help fund AIDS resesarch

- move the fuck out of Mississauga -- buy a condo downtown
- start a business/store hawking Fair Trade goods, no sweat clothing

6. People you want to know more about?
No one I care to mention on my blog... haha.

My group supervisor sent us a picture of our Brazilian counterparts a couple weeks ago and I never got around to posting about it.. so I guess I want to know more about them?

Am I late?

Did anyone else know about this?
Natalie Portman and Devendra Barnhart?
I don't know.
This may be too much indie to handle.

[not confirmed]

journals

the one time i get hit with the need to write, i don't have my moleskine on me.
so instead i rush to the eaton centre food court and start scribbling on a scrap piece of paper that i pulled from my notebook.
of course, this piece of paper then gets lost/thrown away/idk.
aughhhhhhh

finally

um. ill eventually get to prt 2 of the boyswear post..
but in the mean time here are some of the polaroids that i mentioned posting before.

click to enlarge.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION THROUGH MSN NAMES IS SO INSIPID AND STUPID.

ALMOST AS STUPID AS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BLOG POSTS THAT COMMENT ON THEM.

GOD.

tl;dr

Sorry for the lack of updates and the failure to deliver on prt 2 of the boys guide to fashion.
I've been totally busy as of late, trying to pack and do final preparations for my trip, along with working, going to school and putting together this fundraiser show at big slick for the trip.
I honestly can't wait to get out of here and have everything fall away. I've been burning myself out and it's been apparent.
I totally had a breakdown yesterday which resulted in me throwing a piece of pizza in my brother's face, having a beat down, throwing various objects and me locking myself in the bathroom for hours uncontrollably sobbing and hyperventilating.
In my defense this was not unprovoked and was a culmination of conflicts that I have been having with my brothers for the past year or so.
However, in retrospect I guess I could have handled it differently, but then that's with a lot of things that I've done. I'd just like to say that my reaction was severely augmented by the fact that I have not had a good nights sleep in 2 weeks despite the fact that I have been up at 5:30am everyday to do the most mind-numbing menial task ever and come home completely exhausted from school, on top of trip preparations, the looming date of my driving test (which I must pass, or else lose my licence and have to start all over again) and this cloud of worry over the amount of money I have to come up with in order to participate on my trip. Donations have been hard to come by (sadly only a couple of people have stepped up to help out), and I'm worried about putting up the money myself because I still have tuition to pay for (and no, I don't have OSAP because I'm not eligible for it, apparently).
There have also been some family issues at play here which all add to my reaction.
However, do I regret it? No. Neither do I regret all the things that I said in the heat of the moment because I meant a lot of them. Could I have expressed them in a better manner, minus the yelling, screaming and colourful language? Yes, but then the point would not have been made as strongly as I needed it to come across. If anything I wish I wasn't hyperventilating so hard and that the message came out clearer.
Since then, my family has been treating me... delicately. It's been a day since the meltdown and everyone's been super nice and almost patronizing as if any little thing may trigger another incident which, in all honesty, is probably right.
I'm ready to leave. I'm over my house, my family, my "friends".
I don't think I'll come back. While in the process of packing for my trip, I've also been working on packing up my room. I don't feel at home here any more, and ever since highschool ended, I've always said that there's nothing holding me to this city. I'm ready for the metropolis of downtown Toronto, with which I already identify as my home.
Does this qualify as running away from problems and issues that should be resolved? Maybe, but I feel like, now, it's more needed than ever and may be considered more if an extended vacation.
I have 3 weeks left before I depart and I'm going to work as hard as I can to hold it together till then. Whether or not I'll be able to is a whole different story. Already my body is showing signs of the stress that I've been going through. My right arm is sore from vaccinations, I cannot lift my left arm very highas a result of repeated movements associated with work and carrying my laptop on my shoulder for the 2 hr commute from work to school as well as the 1 hr commute from school to home, there are blisters on my feet, and a large bruise on my leg that's created a visible lump on my shin.
I'm running pretty raw right now... another couple nights of no sleep along with more to do could tip me over the edge.
I hope not.
But I can't help but feel that I may be in need of a vacation before heading out on the extended version.

R.I.P. Yves St. Laurent.