hahaha

So i've found some more pictures from my trip.

Churrasco - before and after.

the second picture is saved under "DRUNKMOUSTACHE"

@ Elliot and Gabi's party garage. Drunk and cold. The third is a picture of Jesus hanging in their living room... the text translates to "Jesus, you are my best friend"

I sewed puppets and we put on a play for our Educational Activity Day on culture.

Mid-project @ Fazenda Ytu, our first weekend in Brazil, chilling in Gabi and Elliot's backyard.

In Chinatown in Montreal.

GOD, I MISS THESE GUYS.

1 week left.

I absolutely cannot believe that I'll be home in a week.
I packed today, and all I have to do is finalize tmrw and I'm done.
I'll probably be unreachable for the next week so, for those who care, here's the schedule for the next couple of days.

Tuesday 16 - leave our homes in Valleyfield for Camp Bosco
Wednesday 17 - Camp Bosco
Thursday 18 - Teary goodbyes to the Brazilians at the airport, arrival at the hostel in downtown Montreal with all other 30 Canadian participants
Friday 19 - Hostel
Saturday 20 - Hostel
Sunday 21 - HOME!

And so begins a week long drinking binge.. it started Friday night with a party at Lorna + Tamara's house, continued last night with our Goodbye party for the families and work projects, and will continue at Camp Bosco with our Brazilian friends during their last 2 days in Canada and our last 2 days together. And then its 3 days in downtown Montreal with all our other Canadian friends that we've only seen twice during the last 6 months. There'll be 40 participants and one supervisor.. we'll have workshops during the day and nights off. So far our group of Canadians have already decided to go to a drag show, go tobogganing down Mont Royal, visit le Musée de Beaux Arts and the Andy Warhol exhibit and go drinking/clubbing.
With $44 for meals for the 3 days... we'll see how we do.
I'll see you guys soon!

uh yeah

inspirational, self pep-talk posts are only possible when im not hating life, so part 2 will have to wait till im in a better mood, drunk, or will never see the light of day.

in other news, drunken trampolining is probably the most fun you can ever have in life - just make sure you dont throw up...

also, curling is a lot harder than it looks. its also a lot more fun (surprisingly) than it looks.

what's not fun is having the hour walk home in the dark against the wind, in the snow in -25 degree weather.

but heres a fun picture:

Things I have learned...

Sometimes when the days never seem to end, and when the 21st of December cannot come fast enough... it helps to think of the things that I've gained from this program.

6 months is a long time. It doesn't seem that long when you're living it, but when it comes down to the last couple of weeks... you start to feel how long it's been.
... how long it's been since you have seen your friends, how long it's been since you've been in your room, how long you've spent with the same people without any additions...
It's hard to look at the bright side, when every morning you just want to come downstairs make some toast and leave without having to greet everyone with a big smile on your face. (I like my host-family, I really do! It's just tiring.. always living in someone else's house for the past 6 months..)
But enough bitching. Yes it has been 6 months of being away from home, but I definitely gained some things out of it. (Woohoo, forced cheeriness and looking at the brightside!)


1) I've learned a new language, whilst improving another.

I can understand Portuguese pretty well now. My Portuguese is actually pretty much on par with how my French was before I left for the program... which is actually amazing, considering I didn't study at all before I left. I remember being at the camp in Montreal before leaving for Brazil and feeling so overwhelmed when everyone started studying during the evenings and quizzing each other...
I've improved on my French. I can understand a whole lot more now than I could before. I've (unfortunately) picked up on a lot of Quebec slang, but hopefully NOT the Quebecois accent. I could barely watch TV in French, but I've been to the movies and have been able to understand the films and enjoy them... all in French and no subtitles! I've also been reading books here in French.. although it was a graphic novel... (Persepolis) and the pictures helped, but I still understood the French!
I've also gotten accustomed to talking in Franguese. Where I begin in French... but end up speaking in English with a couple of Portuguese words thrown in for good measure. This is sort of the norm within the group.. so I apologize in advance if I come home and speak retardedly for the first couple of weeks.


2) I've learned about 2 new cultures.

I've learned a lot about the culture in Rio Grande do Sul - the Southern-most state in Brazil. The town we stayed in was incredibly traditional, and kept most of their customs, and I was on a team to teach the rest of the group about the culture of the region. I learned about the traditional dances of the region... and we even took classes to learn 2 of them to show to the group. We also dressed in traditional clothing for the day, baked a traditional cake, and learned how to lasso!
Living in a different country for 3 months gives you time to discover and appreciate the cultural differences in all facets of life. I learned how to eat beans and rice everyday at lunch. I learned how to have churrasco almost all week. I learned what churrasco was (basically giant slabs of meat spiced with salt and barbecued over a charcoal fire)... and I learned how to eat incredibly salty food, all the time. I also learned how to make some of the food I ate while I was there.
I also learned to appreciate and love a Brazilian music. We went to a lot of bailes (dances) while in Manoel Viana and we all learned to dance traditional gaucho dances to bands playing gaucho music. But also going to parties and hanging out with some of the young people in the town, we also got to know a lot about the youth culture in the town... (which honestly was incredibly hilarious and will make for a lot of ridiculous stories for you guys when I get home) and as well the music that they listen to. There was a lot of American hip-hop and pop, but there was also a lot of Brazilian funk, that although the Brazilian participants seem to hate... we seemed to love. (Enough to search it out and put it on our ipods upon our return)
Also, I learned how to appreciate Canadian culture a lot more. At the beginning of the program, the group was given the task to put together a spectacle of sorts to show the town what Canadian culture was. It was pretty hard to do. Canada didn't really have a culture... or so we thought. But upon our arrival in Valleyfield, by wanting to show our Brazilian counterparts what Canada was all about, I think we were all able to discover things that are an integral part of being Canadian (Tim Hortons being one of those things...).
I've also learned a lot about Quebec culture. The typical Quebecoise dishes - Pâté Chinoise... Poutine... (I've also learned that poutine is the best "I'm drunk and fucking hungry" food and that it really is okay if I have eaten a poutine for every meal on a weekend, not including breakfast, and that cheese curds are the most amazing snack food ever). I have also seen a lot of Quebecoise movies, and they've all been really good. It's weird because they kind of have to do their own thing here... so they have their own movies, their own TV shows and their own music.


... okay so this list looks like it might turn out to be a long one... soo I think I'm going to do it in installments. Look out for part 2 coming up next.

officially warned

friday i got a written warning!
"to be fair to the others who got warned for not showing up to rake leaves"
2 completely different situations.
but whatever, 1 warning in 5 months is a good ratio.
2 more warnings and im coming home, you guys.
i'm getting close!

goodbye chris.

yesterday afternoon after getting home from work, i was informed that instead of going to work the next morning, we were expected to be at a meeting with the supervisors.
after much speculation and general consensus that it would be about the fact that some of the group had failed to fulfill their responsibility as participants when they missed out on a park clean-up that had been scheduled with the community, it came up that some people were disgruntled by the fact that a couple days before the park clean-up, i, along with lorna and ayman, had ditched a planned obligatory group activity that involved a bike ride along the bike path that runs through the city. apparently people thought that it was a lack of respect for the group.

this morning when we arrived, it was announced to us that Chris would be leaving the program.
He had acquired 3 warnings throughout the course of the program, and the final one was because of the fact that he was sick and he didn't go to the park clean-up without first calling the supervisors who didn't know.
5 months in the program. there is one month left.
after three warnings, you get sent home.
after this was announced, fingers were pointed, immaturity reigned, and the fact that the three of us had ditched a group activity was raised.
yes, thank you. an eye for an eye. your brazilian friends got a warning for not coming to help us clean up the park, and so you must rat us out.
so after a little bit of a group circle jerk, and putting on a good face for Chris' sake, it dissolved into a coldwar of sorts. more fingers were pointed, EVERYONE'S opinion needed to be shared. and although i thought it would be needed to get everything out on the table and air some shit out, it did not help.
i'm ready for a fight. when it comes down to it, i don't mince my words. and although everything has been plastered over for now, i still have a lot to say. 5 weeks is still a lot of time.

the rest of the day, i spent with chris... i bought him his first and last poutine here in valleyfield. we went to a secondhand store... and me, ayman, elliot and lorna chilled with him for a little bit in tim hortons. after, some of us gathered at chris' house to see him off. his bus leaves tonight at 10pm for Quispamsis, New Brunswick.
It's so incredibly sad to see him go, especially for such a slight infraction. 5 months together, and he's not just one of the participants, but he's also become a good friend, and like a little brother.
We looked out for each other, and I remember always asking how he was and how he was feeling in Brazil, when I knew he was feeling very homesick. We've done some incredibly random shit together, and I have some really stupid videos of him doing stupid shit.
Outside of the program I don't think I would have met anyone like him, or if I had, I probably wouldn't have gotten to know them as well as I got to know him.
This does nothing to help the group's motivation or energy...
We're one Canadian down. And although it still hasn't hit me yet, I'm sure it will once we get into a group again.
Bye Chris! Good luck! New Brunswick isn't that far away, come visit us in Central Canada sometime! We'll go to the CTG in Toronto.
I now have a reason to go to Quispamsis, NB.
We'll miss you!

You guys...

I want to come home.


I miss my room, my laptop, my clothes, my house.
I miss driving, I miss the city.
I miss the hang outs that I could be having with you guys.

It would be bearable if I was having an amazing time here, but I'm not.
It just barely passable - helped along by the nights of heavy drinking that have now become routine.

6 weeks left. Just 6.
a month and a half.
(it's never seemed longer....)

hope you guys had a good halloween!

consumerism

Even from the far corner of small town Quebec, without a credit card, without any income except for $15 a week, and a weekly expenditure of an average of $25 a weekend on booze, I still manage to keep consumerism alive.

Thank god for Paypal and international shipping.

I just bought this:

So cute! I'm super excited for it's arrival. I just hope it won't take 1 month and a half to arrive.. because I won't be here any more.

Shopping has become a distant memory for me. For the last 6 months every item of clothing I've acquired has been second hand - I do a weekly tour of all the second-hand stores in Valleyfield, and even in Manoel Viana, I managed to find a second-hand store (which is an amazing feat, since the town was so small, and barely had anything in it...) where I thrifted little boys button downs (actually if you think about it, it's kind of sad to think about - I'm wearing the castoffs of someone from a small-town in the South of Brazil... oh well). I don't think I'm capable of buying anything over the price of $5 any more. I actually balk at the thought of paying $5 for a sweater that looks brand new and has the tag on it here.

My host mom has promised me a trip to Montreal for shopping purposes, and besides the fact that I'm pretty much broke (or will be soon.. Halloween is on a Friday this year!) and have no access to a credit card, I'm dying to walk into an H&M, UO and/or American Apparel. (Let the stop-supporting-global-capitalism lectures begin!)

Out of the 5 pairs of jeans that I brought to wear on the trip, 2 are too tight and way too uncomfortable (I guess I did put on some weight...), one has several rips in the crotchal area and paint on it from digging, planting, and painting in Brazil, and one has a hole in it from falling off my bike. Someone purolate me some clothes please. I'm tired of fighting with little old men for plaid flannel shirts, little old ladies for cable knit sweaters, and buying mens undershirts to wear as dresses.

On the other hand, I will return home with the most impressive collection of plaid shirts and grandpa cardigans that Mississauga has ever seen.

The other day I bought a hand-knit, long, heavy wool sweater at one of the stores for $10. I wore it all weekend during mid-project, and at night I put a light hoody under it and spent the whole night outside by the camp fire, and I could not feel the cold even if I wanted to (this could've been attributed to the Fireball mixed with chai that I was drinking... but I really don't think so). It's magical, and probably the best buy I'll ever make in my life.

At least if I wanted to I could dress up as an old man for Halloween. It might be easier than dressing up as an 80s aerobics bitch, or a poutine...

Does anyone know what I can wear to cover my ass if I dress up as an 80s aerobics bitch, with my AA raglan sweater on top, and leggings and legwarmers? We all know how I feel about wearing leggings as pants...... RAFAY, I AM LOOKING AT YOU FOR IDEAS. Something that can easily be thrifted. I couldn't find short shorts at any of the thrift stores I frequent.

(wow, there are a lot of pertinent tags for this post..)

salut valleyfield!

What if I told you that I found love when I was in Brazil?

It's been a week since I've arrived in Salaberry-de-Valleyfield.. and although I'm happy to be able to go out and communicate with people somewhat easily (my french comprehension has rapidly improved since I started the program...), and see and experience things that are familiar, and eat peanut butter and have Tim Hortons, I'm having sort of a hard time adjusting. You'd think that after living in a small town in Brazil for 3 months, coming back and living in Canada would be a piece of cake, but the thing is, I kind of miss Manoel Viana.

My host family here is great. I didn't have a very good time with my host family in Manoel Viana, and to have an actual family here where we only speak french (most of the time) and who are eager to share Quebecois culture with us is really cool.

But I still find it hard to hype myself up for the rest of the program. I think the reason I feel like I'm having trouble is because I feel like I'm home, but I'm not. I feel like I should be having an easy time, but it's not that easy.

The first week in Manoel Viana, I didn't miss home, I didn't miss anything because everything was so different. I was learning so much and everything was new.

I'm sort of over the program at this point. I've been with the same people for the past 3 months and as much as I love (most of) them, it's tiring. Also, inevitably, there are going to be people that after awhile, their novelty wears off, and if this happens in real life... you drop them and find new friends. But unfortunately this isn't real life, and you will have to see them at least twice a week for the next 3 months, or you end up working with them.

Or you live with them...

I feel like I'm not going to get anything more out of the program. The next couple of workshops are going to be on Gender and development, and the Millenium Development Goals - things that not only have I learned about, but things that I've written papers on and prepared 2 hour seminars on.

Maybe I could get excited about pushing my reflection, showing off a little, imparting what I know to the other participants, but everything has to either be in French or Portuguese. I already find it hard enough to express my opinions in clear and concise language to those who aren't in IDS in English. How am I supposed to do it in French?

I was robbed of my first choice of work project - archiving photos and negatives in a museum - because for some reason unknown to me, my counterpart got priority over me, even though she had a really amazing work project in Brazil that she helped shape and set up, and that I got to hear about how cool her day was and how she got to go to so many cool places and took so many photos for the tourism web page with my $700+ camera that I let her borrow because she too is also into photography. (Not that I'm bitter or anything......) So instead I work at a kitchen that makes meals to be delivered to those who are unable to get out of the house and buy food for themselves - sort of a Meals on Wheels kind of deal. Today was my first day, and my duties include... chopping vegetables, chopping meat, and spooning things into bowls. I don't hate it... yet.

It's not all bad.. yesterday our host family brought us to Montreal to participate in a protest march against poverty, for social housing, and for more funding for arts and culture (basically a march against a Conservative majority), that was organized by the artists of Quebec. It was totally cool, and I'm sure that there are more of those to come. But still, I need to find something to look forward to.

I think about maybe quitting the program, but I can't. As much as I'm not thoroughly enjoying myself here, I'm not ready to come home. I don't know if I ever will be - yet another thing I'm grappling with: after the program, do I want to come home? But I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes...

For now, I'll just suck it up. I'm not hating it here... yet.